You love your significant other, your furry companion, and probably your parents too (heck, you probably even loved the queen!). So why can’t you love yourself?

Loving ourselves is something that most people find really difficult to do. It’s easier for us to people please, be co-dependent, and have others love and admire us. But this is a losing battle.

When you focus on self-love and self-compassion, rather than relying on the love of others, you can form a happier and healthier relationship with yourself and (bonus) with others.

So, where do you start? Your relationship with yourself is just like any other relationship: it requires commitment, time, patience, and effort. Most of all, it requires true and genuine love. Here are our top ideas for improving your self-love.

Tip #1: Create a self-love ritual 

Routines can be hard to follow, but they’re one of the best ways to form powerful habits. One routine you should definitely have is a self-love routine.

Much like self-care, a self-love routine is when you follow simple steps to look after and care for yourself. The difference between the two is that self-love is done with intention.

Instead of watching TV or scrolling 30 weeks deep into your ex’s Instagram feed, give yourself a foot massage and thank your feet – we know it sounds silly, but trust us on this one – for always getting you where you need to go.

Moisturise your hands and show them some love for all the hard work that they do. Exfoliate your skin and thank your body for how it works to support you every day. Oil your hair and compliment it on its shine, and thank it for how beautifully it’s growing.

Your ritual doesn’t need to be complicated and it doesn’t need to be lengthy. Do what suits you and what feels natural. Whatever you do, though, do it with the intention of loving yourself.

Tip #2: Rearrange your internal dialogue 

Have you ever caught yourself thinking something terrible about yourself?

Telling yourself that you’re stupid for making a mistake, worthless because someone doesn’t love you as much as you love them, or lazy because you’re not motivated, these are all negative things that most of us say to ourselves all the time.

Would you say these things to other people?

Our internal dialogue, the way we talk to ourselves about ourselves, is called self-talk.

One of the most effective ways to show yourself some love is to change the way that you speak to yourself.

This is by no means an easy feat. Changing your self-talk requires being mindful of your thoughts and stopping negative self-talk in its tracks. However, after you’ve caught yourself in a negative self-talk cycle a few times, it becomes easier to rearrange that dialogue into positive language.

Tell yourself that you are smart, that you are worthy, and that you are doing the best you can.

Tip #3: Start saying no 

Setting healthy boundaries is an excellent way to show yourself love. It’s an essential form of self-love because you’re limiting how much you give to others so that you can give more to yourself.

Saying no when people ask you to do things is perfectly okay. You don’t have to scrape and bow at every request.

Instead, think about what your limit is and how much you’re prepared to do before saying no.

There’s nothing wrong with telling your boss you can’t work late, letting a friend know you can’t help them plan their party, or asking your partner to give you the night off cooking.

If you’re a people pleaser, like so many of us are, you’ll find this tip tough. But don’t lose hope, once you get in the habit of saying no, it becomes so much easier.

Love yourself, girl! 

We hope these tips have been helpful and that you can slowly start making small changes in your life to show yourself more love. You don’t need to become a self-love hero overnight; these things take time. But, with a little effort (and a lot of love), you can definitely get it right.

Stay tuned to the bia blog for more tips and advice on self-love, self-care, and all things hair!